Foreword
Having served my time as a Christian minister, I write somewhat from the viewpoint of an Evangelical/Liberal Christian. I still maintain most of those beliefs, though I would now say I'm someone who follows the teachings of The Christ, but also finds spiritual truth in other spiritual paths... However, the principles in this book can be followed and applied regardless of your individual religious background, or lack thereof. Good principles are like that. The principle of gravity applies equally to all, regardless of theology. So do the principles contained in this book.
I realize that some readers may not like that last statement. However, remember that the Bible says that God causes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust. Applying that to what we are discussing here, we could say that when firm spiritual principles are taught, firm spiritual principles are caught, regardless of the spiritual background of the reader. So we hope to avoid arguments about which “religion” is the best, as the reality is that NONE of them are best; what matters is not religion, but a person's personal relation with God . The point is that ALL can benefit from the principles in this book! And isn't that what we would want? I hope so!
My suggestion to readers would be to budget the time to work through this book a total of three times, moving through it at a suggested rate of one chapter per week. The first time you read it, you are accumulating new information. Read carefully and slowly, giving your mind time to digest and store away the information. The second time you read through, read for the purpose of reinforcing the information you read the first time. Work through the study notes a second time and notice if any of your answers have changed since the first time. If so, this is normal and may even be desired. The third time you work through the book, read it for the purpose of applying the information to your life. Again, work through the study notes one more time, and ask yourself how the principles can work in your life. If you will take the time needed to read this book as suggested above, and apply the principles to your life, results will come. The material in this book has helped to set people free from alcohol abuse, drug abuse, emotional instabilities, and other forms of emotional bondage. This is “self help” at its best, in my opinion and experience. It would be helpful to find a friend or mentor to talk with as you work through these materials. We often do better when we share with, and are held accountable to, someone else.
Remember, you are on a journey to freedom! The first step in any journey is the hardest. The last step is the most rewarding. May God be your companion on this journey to emotional freedom!
Don Hildenbrand August 22, 2006
Chapter 1- Introduction
God is a God of Promises! That's exciting to know! God has given us many "great and precious promises" and one of the greatest is the one found in John 8:36 "If the son shall set you free you shall be free indeed." That's good news! We all need to be free.
But the sad truth is that too many people aren't free. We see people who have come to a place of belief but they are controlled by destructive habits and emotions. They know that they are in some kind of bondage, but the more they try the more they find that it is impossible to be free under their own power.
Let's think about emotional hurts for a moment; almost every one has them. It's a rare person who hasn't experienced some kind of emotional hurt in their life. Those emotional hurts tend to leave behind "emotional scar tissue" that affects our lives. It affects the way we think; the way we speak; and the way we act. We end up being controlled by emotional impulses we can't understand or control.
So the main objective of LIFE is to learn to control our emotions. We want to learn to be Living In Freedom Emotionally. In LIFE we learn the keys to control.
I don't know about you, but my keys are very important to me. Some time ago, I decided to drive to the Mall, and grabbed my keys as I went out the door. I carefully locked the door behind me, and walked down to the car. I began to unlock the car door, and guess what? I had the wrong set of keys! Where were the keys that I needed? In a very safe place, locked in the apartment! I ended up walking to the mall.
There have been other mishaps with my keys. I've locked them in the car. I've dropped them in the water. Again, just a while ago, I left them in a store. When those things happen, we become very aware of how important keys are to us.
We also discover that keys are important to God, as well. Before his crucifixion, The Christ asked his disciples, "Who do men say that I am?" They gave the various answers they had heard; He was a prophet; He was John the Baptist resurrected; He was Elijah come back before the arrival of the Messiah. But The Christ went a little farther. "What about you?" he asked. "Who do you think that I am?"
As usual, Simon spoke for the group. "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God !" The Christ was pleased with this answer. He exclaimed that man had not revealed it. God had revealed it. "And, Peter" he said, "I give you the keys of the kingdom..." Ah, the keys to the kingdom. It is kind of like getting the keys to the city. Let's open up the gates of heaven, Peter! We've got the keys to heaven!
But that's not what The Christ said! He didn't say "the keys to the kingdom." I always thought that's what he said. I even wrote a song called "The Keys to the Kingdom." But The Christ didn't say that. He said, "I give you the keys of the kingdom..." That's a whole different story. I had to rewrite the song!
It would be great to have the keys to the kingdom. And you know what? We already have those keys. Every follower of the WAY (that is, the teachings of The Christ, that is; the Law Of Love. [Which is certainly not ONLY found in the teachings of The Christ] (The earliest believers were called Followers of the Way) have been given the keys to the kingdom. We can open the doors to heaven anytime. We don't have to be like Esther who lived in fear of being killed when she approached the King. We have been told, even commanded, to boldly approach the throne of God . Just open the doors, and walk right in! If you're a follower of the WAY, a believer and follower of The Christ,the Law Of Love, the keys to the kingdom are in your hands.
But the keys of the kingdom are a different story. Where the keys to the kingdom open the doors of heaven, the keys of the kingdom open everything. When used and applied, the keys of the kingdom open the doors to happiness. They open the doors to God 's plan of healthy living. They open the doors to God 's plan of prosperity. They open the doors to right thinking. They open the doors to forgiveness, healing and wholeness. And not every follower of the WAY (the Law Of Love) has the keys of the kingdom.
Remember the story of Lazarus? He had fallen sick, and his sisters called for The Christ to come and heal him. The Christ delayed his entry into the city, so that Lazarus had died. In fact, he had been dead for a number of days now. In Jewish thought, there was no hope of a resurrection. But The Christ had different plans. He was about to glorify God .
Now, let's look at this from a spiritual angle. Lazarus, we could say, represents those who are “dead” in their way of life. He represents a person without knowledge of the WAY, of the reality of spiritual experience. But The Christ prepares to perform a miracle. He stands in front of the tomb, and orders the tomb to be opened. Under protest, the servants obey the order, and The Christ prays to God . The tension is mounting. You can feel it in the air; something exciting is about to happen!
The Christ stands before the now open tomb, and shouts "Lazarus!" The crowd is amazed. Why speak to a dead man? "Lazarus!" The Christ shouts, "Come forth!" And to the amazement of all who watched, Lazarus comes out, still bound up, and still wrapped up in his burial clothes.
Now, Lazarus represents those who have been set free from death. He's been brought into life with The Christ, just as many of us have been. He's been given the keys to the kingdom, just as many of us have. But something is still wrong. He's still in bondage. He's still all wrapped up in something that keeps him from being all that he could be for The Christ. So The Christ gives the answer to the problem. "Loose him," he says, “and set him free."
May I take a little liberty with this story? Perhaps what The Christ said could be rephrased like this; "I gave him the keys to the kingdom. Now you give him the keys of the kingdom. You show him how to be loosed and free. You show him how to open the doors to the good life, the happy life, the healed life, the whole life. Give him the keys of the kingdom."
There are a whole lot of people today that found themselves in the same boat. They were dead, so to speak, in sin, as all are at some time in their lives. They were changed from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. They were given the keys to the kingdom. But, they find themselves, one day, still in bondage. Still bound up by something that keeps them from being all they can be for The Christ. They have found themselves in difficult times.
Perhaps they realized that they get angry too often, too long, and too much. Maybe they came to the realization that the joy of life has gone, or maybe, wasn't ever there. Maybe they discovered that there are fears inside them that take control of their lives and keep them from experiencing the life that God planned for them. Maybe the heavy weight of depression has pulled them down into a deep dark place that they can't find their way out of. Perhaps they just realize that there are habits in their lives that they can't seem to break. Perhaps they are not even "bad" habits. May they are habits that are just not best. Maybe they have come to a point in their lives where they desire the best, realizing that The Christ has the best for them, and wants the best from them.
Perhaps, as a result of these trials, they've sought relief in alcohol, drug abuse, pornography or some other form of escape. They realize that they are not free. They are Lazarus, still bound in the grave clothes, needing to be "loosed and set free." They realize that they need the keys of the kingdom. They need to know how to open the doors that lead to the freedom, wholeness and healing that God planned for their lives. They need to enjoy the "steak on their plate while they wait " for that "pie in the sky by and by". They need, and let's be honest, we all need, livable principles for difficult times.
You see, God steps out of eternity at some point in our lives, and sings, "I beg your pardon. I never promised you a rose garden." Yes, he (and I use “he” in a generic sense; the Divine is beyond gender, as the Divine is Spirit, not flesh...)promised an abundant life, a prosperous life, a fulfilled life; but while he did promise us an untroubled heart, he never promised us an untroubled life. And that's why we need livable principles for difficult times. We all endure difficult times. And since this is true, we all need the keys of the kingdom, keys that will unlock the doors that lead to happiness and wholeness.
That's where Living In Freedom Emotionally comes in. LIFE helps those who have been given the keys to the Kingdom receive the keys of the kingdom. LIFE can help you find livable principles that help you through the difficult situations of life. We learn how to handle hurts; how to defeat depression; how to finish fear. We learn that God is faithful at all times. We learn that God wants us to live in an emotional "LIFE Zone", and how to live there, and stay there. We learn how to build a strong bridge of faith that will hold through the depressions of life.
We learn to renew the mind, take responsibility for our own lives, and solve our problems in a divine manner. We learn how to have successful, healthy relationships with people around us. These lessons, and others like them, give people of all backgrounds the keys of the kingdom, keys which will unlock the successful, happy, fulfilled life that God calls us to.
Who is LIFE for? It's for anyone who has experienced hurt in their lives. It's for anyone who wants to break an old habit and build new ones. It's for everyone who just wants to live a life that is more in keeping with the principles of the WAY.
LIFE is not a 12 step program but rather, a five objective program. The first objective is to know that we are building on a sure foundation. What do we build our lives on? Many people build on money or success or other goals, but the only secure foundation is FAITH. A life built on faith is a life that is filled with Power.
The second objective is to be of a sound mind. A healthy life demands a healthy mind. Uncontrolled emotions destroy our emotional stability. Our goal is to get out of the world and into the Word. We want to be sure that we are basing our decisions on divine principles. We want to be constantly seeking the LIFE ZONE, a place of stability and emotional control. (For more information on the LIFE ZONE, see chapter 5.)
The third objective involves learning to be responsible. We need to accept responsibility for our own actions and attitudes. We need to stop playing the "Blame Game" and make our problems every body else's fault. We need to realize that we are responsible for our reactions to the situations we have experienced in life. We have to come to the point of accepting the fact that no one chooses the direction of our lives other than God and ourselves.
The fourth objective is to learn to be able to resolve conflicts. To truly be successful in life, we need to develop "healthy relationships"-relationships where both of the parties of the relationship draw near to God . Unhealthy relationships will destroy our emotional stability. The most important healthy relationship we must have is the one we have with God .
After we have learned the first four objectives we turn our attention to learning to be useful. We learn that we all need a sense of positive worth. When we're missing that sense of worth, we lack confidence. In order to recover our sense of positive worth, we will focus on discovering and doing our God given destiny.
As we saw in the beginning of this chapter, God offers us freedom. The Bible, and other spiritual writings, show us how to find it. But, in order to find it, we have to learn God 's principles. We have spent most of our lives living by the wrong principles; the principles of the world. As many of us have discovered, those wrong principles brought bad consequences. When we learn to live by the right, divine principles, we can undo the damage we have experienced.
We have a tendency to look for the quick fixes and the fast answers. Sometimes, I'm very hungry and I want to eat fast! I also like fried chicken. But I have discovered that you can't cook fried chicken fast. It may look good on the outside. It may be brown and crispy outside but on the inside it's raw and still bleeding. It's not an appetizing sight.
That's what both the people around us and our spiritual enemies want us to accept. (Those “spiritual enemies” may be the people around us… think about it…)They offer us spiritual fast food, cooked on the outside but raw on the inside. They want us to believe that we can find freedom without sacrifice. They offer us a lie.
God wants us to be free from the lies, and be slaves to the truth. In order to be freed by the truth we must be willing to take the time to unlearn the lies, and learn the truth.
There is however, a basic root problem which we have to deal with. The basic root problem in any addiction or emotional instability problem is PRIDE. Prideful attitudes keep us from being willing to discover the answers. Think about that for a moment. Pride makes us feel we deserve better. Maybe we do! But, thinking that way, too much of the time, can lead us to try to escape our present reality in an unhealthy manner. Pride makes us think “I can do it myself! I don’t need help.” But the reality is, that prideful attitude will lead us down the road to ruin. We do need help. And contrary to what some say, it’s NOT a sign of weakness to ask for help. It’s a sign of strength.
We find that real change must come from the inside out. Change must come from within. God must change the deep rooted attitudes of our hearts. Why is this important? It's important because many if not most of our decisions are made by the subconscious. If we're going to change the way we make decisions, we have to change at a subconscious level.
The subconscious operates on whatever we choose to feed it. It will respond according to what we give it, either good or bad. The subconscious "makes a decision" and then powerful emotions come into play to "force" us to follow through.
How does this happen? It happens though our emotions. God gave us our emotions. They are not "a bad thing." We are able to trust people, love each other and be happy, all because of our emotions.
But there is also a dark side to our emotions. Our emotions can have a stronger pull on us than reason. Many times we end up making important decisions based on our emotions, rather than logic or reason. When this happens we make wrong decisions. Why?
When we make a conscious decision to step out of the old familiar ways, the subconscious, used to the way things were, brings powerful emotions into play to pull us back to the old. Fear comes upon us, and we're afraid of the unknown. So we go back to what is not best, but easiest. Guilt comes upon us and we feel like we're abandoning an old friend. So we give up our quest for a new life. Other emotions like anger and depression (which actually isn’t an emotion, but rather, a cluster of emotions.) do the work of drawing us back to whatever it is we want to escape from. If we can't learn to control this, we will slide back to the old way of life. So, our goal then, is to change the way we make decisions by changing what we feed the subconscious mind.
Here's the root problem we've all been struggling with; the subconscious mind operates off false and negative principles we've been fed all of our lives. We have eaten the wrong mental diet because we have been fed the wrong mental diet! This MAY be true even in the churches we have attended! It's been said "You are what you eat." The same statement is even truer when we apply it to our mental diet. We truly become what the mind is. "As a man thinks in his heart, so he is" is how the Bible states it.
Most of our lives we've been surrounded with the negative instead of the positive. The first word we usually hear and understand is "no!” It's usually also the first real word we learn to say. When we watch the television news it's usually bad news. "No news is good news" some of us are fond of saying.
Every day, we feel frustrated guilty, angry, or fearful. These and many other negative emotions produce a "negative saturation". We have become saturated with negative news, negative feelings, and negative actions. This happens because we are living by the wrong principles. Because of this, we try to escape, but we sink deeper and deeper. We become emotional slaves to the negative emotions we are trying to escape. We try, but we can't free ourselves. We become slaves to our addictions, whatever they may be.
We have to change the principles we live by. The wrong principles will lead us into bondage. But the right principles will lead us into freedom!
One thing we must keep in mind as we explore these problems areas is that there is a spiritual dimension to them. It's an area many of us have tried to avoid, but, try as we do, we can't get away from it.
The Bible clearly reveals that there are angels, which are good spiritual forces, and there are demons, which are evil spiritual forces. It doesn’t matter to me how you define those terms.
Regardless of how you define the terms, it’s a fact, proven by our own experience, that there is good AND evil around us. And whatever those spiritual forces may be, they are engaged in a battle for our minds. There are no "neutral" spiritual forces. So, we can surmise from this that there is nothing "neutral" in our lives, as well. Things that happen to us are either from God , that is, good; or from the “devil”, that is, evil. Where does spiritual bondage fit in?
Any form of spiritual bondage, whether manifested in an addiction or in an emotional instability, has a negative spiritual basis. God wants us free, but our enemy, the “devil”, (Again, I don’t care HOW you define that term.) wants us in bondage. Why? It is because it destroys our spiritual witness and our spiritual effectiveness.
If the majority of our problems areas have been formed at the subconscious level, then we must do our changing at the same level. If we've been eating bad food all our lives, we suffer the consequences, and need to change our diet to be healthy. If we've had negative mental and spiritual food all our lives, we also need to change our "diet" in order to find hope and health.
Because the hold of the past is strong, we need strong medicine to overcome that past. The strongest medicine we can find and apply is truth. What is truth? The principles of the WAY are truth. The teachings of The Christ are the truth. Truth is found in many other spiritual writings. Anything that leads you closer to God is the truth.
Try to look at this way; since we have spent so many years being saturated with the negative principles of the world, we must become saturated with the positive principles of the “Word”. (That is, the Bible or other spiritual writings that reflect the Law Of Love.) When we "saturate", or fill our minds and hearts with the principles of the WAY, God slowly but surely will change us into what we were meant to be and need to be. For example, if a person has been struggling with intense fear, one can "saturate" with a verse like 2nd Timothy 1:7, which states "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind." When we repeat that truth to ourselves, as many times as needed in order to counter the negative thoughts, emotions, or tendencies, and "saturate" our hearts with it, the fear will be replaced with peace. The principle is true regardless of the problem. If we want to gain victory over the problem, we cannot focus on the problem; we must focus on the opposite of the problem!
The cure, therefore, that God prescribes for us, is to fill our minds with good thoughts and positive verses. How do we do that? First, we do it through regular Bible study, or other worthy devotional materials or spiritual writings. We study positive truth, and fill our minds with it. This replaces the negative lies that we have been fed all of our lives. Second, we work on training the subconscious. We've been programmed in the wrong way with the wrong principles; we must re-program the mind with the right principles. This will take time to accomplish, so we must learn to be patient. Third, we will practice the principle of Scripture Saturation. What does that mean?
It means that we will find positive verses and Scriptures that deal with the problem areas we are facing. We will fill our minds and our hearts with those verses, repeating them at least twenty five times four times a day. We will choose verses that deal with the opposite of the problem we are facing. If we are dealing with depression, we will focus our minds on joy! If we are struggling with anger, we will concentrate on love. If we're having a problem with un-forgiveness, we will find and saturate with verses on forgiveness. It's a simple process, and the result is always positive change! If we will commit ourselves to doing the work, we will find that there is victory!
It's a simple principle that works wonders. Our minds can't think on two opposites at the same time. And our minds draw us deeper into whatever we are thinking about the most. For example, if we're struggling with depression, it's not a healthy thing to think about depression, even if we're thing about not being depressed. We're still thinking about depression, and that's what the sub-conscious mind will pick up on and focus on. So, we end up going deeper into depression! But if we focus on joy and happiness, we will become more full of joy and happiness!
The same is true for dealing with an alcohol problem. If we think, “I will not drink today...”, we're still thinking about drinking, and the likelihood is that we'll drink today! But if we flip that around, and say to ourselves, “I will be sober today”, or fill our minds with thoughts of freedom, that's what the sub-conscious mind will pick up on, and that's what our life will produce. What we think about the most is what we will attract, and what we will create in our lives.
If this sounds like “brain-washing”, it is! It’s a process of cleansing the mind of the negative, by replacing it with the positive. Try thinking happy thoughts and sad thoughts at the same time. If not impossible, it’s quite difficult. It’s this principle and practice that will lead us down the road to victory.
It doesn’t matter who
you are, or what religion you follow, or even if you believe in God
or not. God believes in you! And if you follow the principles
outlined in the chapters, you’ll be raising YOUR arms in victory as
you cross the finish line of life!